Coach Ryan... Life's a Game, Coach It

COMING SOON!!!!

2007-11-30T11:20:00.000-05:00

My new fitness boot camp for kids.

Time to start fighting child obesity one child at a time

12 Weeks To Ultimate Gift To Self

2007-11-30T11:08:00.000-05:00

I decided on Monday that I would do what I did a year ago. Take over my health and do it to another level. I am giving myself 12 weeks to get to where I was when I was training for a mini-triathlon

Now I may be a trainer and I may run the best fitness bootcamp in central jersey, but it is a fact, most trainers do not focus on themselves. Time is hard, so I have programmed a workout that should not take more then 30 min a day and putting it to the test.

So far, week 1 has been a minor challenge (bootcampers would love it!).

After this week is through I will post the workout and if the interest is there, I will give you ther workouts in advance and you can do them as I do.

A Win Win Situation

2007-08-31T09:34:00.000-04:00

I mentioned last week that we had a game coming up. Well we won 12-0, you would think my coaches and I would be happy, but we made mistakes left and right. It should had been 30-0 easy.

Defense was solid with gang tackling, however we had some arm tackling issues. this has been corrected.

So we won, which is good, but we as coaches were harder on the kids this week, because we need them to see that just because you get one win, does not mean you can let up, actually its the opposite, you need to work harder, so it is with life.

Want to know why kids are disrespectful, fat and declining in general? Their parents. Complete and total waste of being a role model. I have kids missing practice without telling me or another coach, parents who just bring them late because they didn't care. Kids eating crap before and after games and practices when as an athlete at any level you need to feed your body good food. These parents do not show these kids the right way. I have kids who think it is OK to just not show up and not let anyone know, show me one corporation in the world who allows this and Ill show you a company that is going to lose tons of money.

So I teach them. I do not play them. I tell them they show up to the games and support their teammates and when they learn that not coming to practice not only hurts the team but could hurt themselves and shows lack of respect for coaches and teammates, then I will play them again. So far have had to suspend 2 players this seasons. Only suspended 1 last season at the end of the season.

We have a game Saturday at 4:30 pm. Should be a good one. I will update again

1 Practice and 3 Days Away

2007-08-24T07:54:00.001-04:00

I know I have no updated since oooooo June. Well I have found myself thinking more and more that on my way from running Bootcamp at 6:30 am and going to my other full time job, that I find myself reflecting on what is going in my life or it just time to process the events of the day before.

You do not know how much a player you coach wants to make you happy or please you until you see them cry because they could not do something right in PRACTICE. I took a step back after working with my field goal kicker who is 11 years old. He has the foot to do it and nailed 9 of 10 field goals from extra point range, which is highly impressive. However last night he made only 3 of about 15. I started to get frustrated, because having a kicker for extra point in a game could give us 2 points instead of 1.

Side note: in Pop Warner if you go through 2 overtimes still tied, your team is forced to try to kick an extra point for every time you score. Last yr the championship game between 2 teams went for 5 overtimes and had to be continued into another day. So you see the importance.

Well I could see my player's eyes watering up and we talked, explaining it is only practice and it is OK to miss, but I needed him to focus. Usually this is when I find myself taking my own advice, perhaps I am just giving the advice to my players because I know it is what I should be doing.

With our game coming up against a team we beat 33-6 last year, we are not treating them lightly. We know they want revenge, however I hate to tell them, that after we scrimmaged 2 teams from conferences bigger and stronger then ours and we basically embarrassed their teams, they better bring their A game plus more.

As for personal life, Evan is growing to be a major cutie. Definitely my son, knows how to flirt already, knows how to make dad proud. hahaha.

My business is growing nicely www.totalcorefitcamp.com. Local paper picked us up. you can read it here: http://ems.gmnews.com/news/2007/0815/Front_Page/033.html

With the new business I have found myself starting to add Team Building and Motivational Speaking/Coaching opportunities. Should be a fun ride. I will update on how the team did on Monday, I just hope my teams comes together like did for the scrimmages, because last night's practice was a C+ at best.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

We Are All Winners

2007-06-20T10:12:00.000-04:00

Wow so I am entering back to my roots of the blogging community. Missed it. I find myself often thinking, "i should really blog this." but don't.

I think most of it is my inability to hold a thought lately. With my life turned upside down with the birth of Evan (o yeah he was born May 6, 2007 at 1:43 pm, 7lb 10oz, 20 inches)

I also have found myself starting my own business (http://www.totalcorefitcamp.com/) as I have talked about for years. One day I woke up and said, I think I will do it today, so I did.

A lot of has been going on in the world. People getting married, others getting pregnant, old friends re-uniting and some friendships failing. The endless circle of life. You get a new sense of reality when you look down and see the life that was brought into this world and you think, "wow".

A thought came to me as I was joking about Evan, all of us are all winners. Yep, you heard it here, we were all the winning sperm. Now that is something to help keep you feeling good about yourself. You beat out what could have been a million of other possibilities.

When Advice Doesn't Pertain To Adults?

2007-03-05T10:00:00.000-05:00

I was on my way home from a football coaching clinic with my assistant coach and we came to talking about the possible obstacles we will face this year. Mainly because we are going to be using an offense that is as old as organized football itself. It is so old its new, kind of like trends today. Parents today are laughing because the styles they grew up with are now making a come back and their kids think its a whole new trend.

We got to talking about how we would deal with the naysayers. Then it hit me as I was explaining that I wasn't going to listen to hypocrites. Now, not saying hypocrite as an insult, but as describing how what they preach is not how they act.

As coaches, we tell kids that saying "I Can't" is not acceptable. How can you say you cannot do something unless try? We tell kids to be positive and to keep trying. Do you tell a player who fell down to stop trying because they did not succeed? No, we tell them to keep trying and learning from their mistakes. Why is it different with adults?

You see we are facing the dilemma of people telling us it cannot be done. It is too hard for the kids to learn. It will be difficult for kids to do certain things. However we have videos of kids younger doing these things, kids older, smaller, bigger, slower and faster. It is proven to be OK for their age level and yet, we can't do it.

For anyone who has ever dealt with me, coached with me, in same organization serving on the same boards as myself, you know that people who tell me I cannot do something only adds fuel to my fire to prove you wrong. I try to lead by example with my players. I never say can't, I will not let them say can't. I simply tell them they found a bunch of ways not to do something.

Future Player In the Making

2007-03-01T08:11:00.000-05:00

Here are some of the first pics of the new player to my team.

and Proof its a HE!

Time is My Enemy

2007-02-22T08:14:00.000-05:00

You know how people always talk about there not being enough hours in the day? Well this concept has become more apparent in the past couple of weeks.

I have my full-time job from 7am - 4pm, then I usually work out or I train clients (Mondays & Fridays) or I am running my fitness boot camp til about 7pm (Tues and Thurs), work on the gym floor and train clients in same night until 9pm (weds). Saturday mornings I work at one gym til 10am and then run to another gym to train a client at 11. Then after all that I have some time to spend with my wife.

Now to add to this, I try to do some work on football in preparation for the upcoming season. Since coaching is a year round job and I want to become as educated as possible and a higher qualified coach for the future, I attend clinics when I can. Yet more time off the personal time clock.

So as with anything I am managing the clock even better then before. I am not going to be working at the gym on wed nights (if all goes well on interview today) however I may be at a hospital being a part of their obese children program. Which is not only a great opportunity, but a step in the direction to where I am thinking about going in the future. A future I was once working towards, just with a new subject.

I am looking into the possibility of getting my teaching certification and possibly doing physical education (I have the background, but I know this is a dime a dozen major). However it would also take more time away from me and my growing family. It may mean having to give up hours training and focus on the the bigger goal. Who knows, its still all on the drawing board right now.

Wow Its Been A While!

2007-02-21T13:58:00.000-05:00

Ok well here I am writting months later. I appologize for that. Well I am another year older, the baby is baking perfectly in Dori's belly and I am possibly taking on another job. Go Figure.

I will be writting more tomorrow, spent most of the day updating this site.

What a Night... The Wedding

2006-12-18T08:34:00.000-05:00

Well it is now a week from the wedding and I figured I would give some updates, pictures and a few good stories! Let me preface this post by thanking my mother for all the hard work, organization and keeping Dori and I grounded through this whole process. She was the backbone for our special day/night. Also my Aunt Carol for all the support and behind the scenes work, especially with the deals on hotel, limo and other areas.

Now whoever said grooms are not involved with weddings can kiss my ass. I was up at 6am the day of, running around with my mother getting last minute items, the flowers and going to the hall to set up decorations. We went to pick up Dori's bouquet and it was horrific. So before we went to pick up Dan to help set up hall, we had to do some crisis thinking and get it fixed as best as possible. Luckily a place in our home town who did all my prom flowers and my father's funeral took on the job and saved the day.

Darryl, my best man came to my house around 2pm and it all started. Preparation to cliff dive without a parachute and kill my single life. Sharing old stories, joking around and an hour later, I was on my way to the hotel. Dan and Lindsey were there to help me clear out my car and set up the suite for Dori to get ready. BTW it was great to finally meet Lindsey in person.

So the only time I think I got nervous the entire week, night, hour was when the DJ was not in the room 30 min before the guests arrived. That is the only time sweat fell down. The only time I think I shed a tear was when I lit the memorial candle for my father and looked at his picture, wishing he was there in person, but knowing he was there in spirit helped.

Here are some photos to help with the night.

Groomsmen Before Wedding

My Brother Takes Over Bridal Suite Bar

Everyone Starting To Feel It In the Suite

The Girls

For fun and to continue to be unpredictable, my friends should have known I would get them. I even warned them that at the wedding, I was going to get them. Well for fun, I had the DJ bring props for the groomsmen to wear and then lead the room in the YMCA. (I will post Video of it later *its kind of dark)*** UPDATE~ Here is the video

Then Dori went in and stole my brothers Hat.

Then in true entertainment fashion, the entire bridal party was up front for the room of people laughing their asses at us.

Next Morning having breakfast. Dori got us hats in case people could not remember who we were without our costumes on.
*Thank you Lindsey for these photos! To See Her Wedding Album for us, go here (more drunken photos, Dori and I and random photos. Was a fun night) More updates to come

Single Life Break Up

2006-12-07T08:18:00.000-05:00

Dear Single Life,

Well I am writting to bring you some bad news. I know you saw it coming, and I want you to know up front, its not you, its me. We are going to have to end this relationship I have thoroughly enjoyed for over 20 yrs. I know you will be perfect for some other guy who will truly appreciate everything you have to offer. However I have to move on and have found something different and better.

I will miss the ability to flirt with any girl at any time, the ability to be at a bar use my eyes to my advantage for some girl to try to hit on me and buy me a drink (always loved that role reversal). We had a fun run together. I will not deny that I will miss the days where there was no commitment and that is something special that came with you.

Well, its only 2 days away from my wedding day and it will be the time I will have to cut of all communication with you. Sorry, but it is for the better. If you want, I could help set you up with someone, I know some people who are having a hard time and their single life sucks. I'll hook ya up. I hope you do not take this offensively, but I hope we never meet again. =)

Oh and BTW, remember all those things that happened together and the stories we never shared? Let's keep that between you and me, OK?

Best of Luck
Ryan

We Are Our Past

2006-12-01T09:01:00.000-05:00

Some people live by the saying "it is what you do that defines you." I go by, "you are your past" that defines you."

See, I believe who you are now is from the people and experiences you have gone through in life. The good, the bad and most definitely the ugly sides of our self. From my own life experiences I can say that I can look back and know where I came from and learned from what mistakes I have made.

The most defining years of my life where from age 16-18. Some of the hardest and most trivial times in my life to date. It was December 1996 that my father passed away and I was left wondering what my role was. It was Feb 1997 that I met someone who really kept me grounded and focused and helped me more then they ever knew. It was then that I got my sense of a "real relationship" and to see someone who cared for me and showed me it was OK to be myself. Not only did this person open my eyes to relationships but she did so in making sure I didn't give up and pushed me, especially in times I felt like giving up. I also learned that in Sept- Dec 1997 that I should have sucked it up and made the trip to her college to visit her. LOL

But in those defining years, lead me to be where I am today. She was that measuring stick to anyone I would date later and I eventually found someone who could measure up. Dori would eventually become a student in ways, where I could pass on what I learned, but I learned from teaching along the ways. About communication, the troubles with dealing with a lot of outside influences and making time in my busy life.

But in the middle of all these relationships were my friends and the people I met in classes. Professors who didn't give up on me and of course my family.

In Circle K I learned some valuable lessons. I would rather serve and volunteer then take any position in power again. Though I do not regret my positions and making the changes and decisions I made, because I know they were right during my time there, I do not want to waste time in battles of egos. I look around and I see many who are still friends and I am happy for them, but I remember the words whispered behind their backs, so I wonder, do those thoughts just get thrown away? Because that is not who I am. But CKI brought me in touch with some of the most amazing people in the US and abroad. To list a few: Dan, Erin, Bobby S., Matt, Jill, Lindsey (who I know from Dan), Abby, Erica, Alan, Mondo. those are only a few, but there are many more. If you want to see the future of this country, look at them, because they are genuine.

So I am who I am today because of all these people. The people I have met and watched. The experiences of being on stage, falling down stairs and getting hit on the football field. From the kids I coach to the professors who challenged me. My parents in both life and my father in death. So I thank you, because it may take a village to raise a baby, but its the world who shapes the person.

Dad's & Babies

2006-11-30T08:52:00.000-05:00

Vandana left me this as a comment on MySpace and I had to share. People are already having fun with me. Enjoy, I know I did.

Relationship Experiment: Single Parents & Married

2006-11-30T08:36:00.000-05:00

So in recent weeks I have been having conversations with people and noticing a common trend. No It could be isolated, but I am seriously intrigued by this grouping of people. Do people end up making closer relationships with people who come from a similar foundation as themselves.

Now here is why this has come up. I was talking with my reverend at church and it came up on family backgrounds and I noticed that the people I am closest with (mainly through life and maintain as friends) are from 2 parent homes and not separated by divorce. I then started to interweave through the relationships of other people and find that they have similar relationships with who they are close with. Some who come from divorced homes, are in fact closer with others who are from divorced homes. Now some could make the argument that this is purely because this is what they have in common, but here is where I put a wrench in that thought. Many people do not talk about this part in their lives until they get to know people better. I mean who has a general conversation about their parents?

I was talking to Sarah whom I work with at one gym and she and I were discussing this and she started to notice it as well. So I am wondering, is it a communication difference? Is there a certain way we come off to others that we can see where they come from and are compelled to stay close with these people? Or is it purely coincidence.

I mean it is not 100% full proof with saying you will not have someone who has a complete different upbringing being your closest friends, however what are the majority of your relationships?

Smack Me: I am a Bad Blogger

2006-11-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

In the past couple weeks I have had more things I could blog about, but when I get to the computer I find myself doing something I have never done before, wondering if anyone would seriously care what I had to write. I mean a part of me just writes to get it out of my head. I feel as if, if I do not express and let out my thoughts, they haunt me!

I get caught in this blogging purgatory. One part says blog about whatever, and another is don't, no one really cares, I mean some people just write about their lives and going to a store and coming back and people are amused (I'm not) and I like blogs more with a reason behind them. However I do not have much of a theme on this blog, so anything could really go.

I promise to all my 3 readers (which is all it could be by this time of not blogging for a while) that I will do some major blog updates. I have some things on the mind. T Minus whatever time is at the top of my page till I jump off the building we call single life.

Hmmmm I Need Your Help

2006-11-17T09:41:00.000-05:00

Well with my wedding come up soon, I will no longer need the Title "Single Life Suicide". I am looking for a new name for this blog and ideas for a banner.

So Any suggestions?

SHOT DOWN! You Entered The Friend Zone

2006-10-31T10:47:00.000-05:00

So you meet someone and you end up going on a few dates and things seem to going great. One night you go for the move and then they pull away and take the stamp of death and press it on your forehead it reads " FRIENDS ONLY". They explain how great you are and how perfect you would be for them however you are better off as friends and they do not want to ruin that.

It is well known that once you enter that zone, you cannot get out. No, all you can do is sit back and think, "where the hell did I mess up? Did I do anything wrong? WHY ME?"

Because for guys, we know the situation. Ladies you will pick that other guy, everything opposite of what you want or like because you think you can change him. For a better explanation it is like going on a job interview. Here is what we hear when you say lets stay only friends:

"Wow you resume looks amazing. You are more then qualified and would be perfect for this company. However, we are going to have to pass on you. We will be using your resume as the measuring stick for everyonelse we interview. However we know we will never truly find someone with your qualification. We will be hiring this other guy who will probly be lazy, uneducated and end up being an alcoholic. I hope you don't mind us calling you at 2 a.m. complaining and wishing it was you we hired and how miserable we are. I hope you understand."

Yep boys and girls, "lets stay friends" is right up there with phrases such as "its not you, its me" or everyone's favorite, "when your not looking, you will meet the right person."

Updates On This Thing I Call Life

2006-10-26T08:48:00.000-04:00

Well I will start out with the updates that go from minor to major. As many know I am a football coach for kids 8-10yrs old. Seriously, as much as it can get frustrating at times, I enjoy every second of it. Our team is 3-4 after losing a heart breaker in overtime on Sunday. Our last game of the season is coming up and I am optimistic that these guys will finish with a win.

In other news, I finally got my first client for personal training at the one place I'm working, however I interviewed and and got a second personal training position at the gym I work out at, which should give me a good amount of clients (since I used to train people privately from there). Some people have found out and are excited to hire me and to take my Abs classes and Fitness Bootcamps (I'm excited to be able to get these going). So this leaves Ryan with 3 jobs.

So you may wonder why I went and got a 3rd job. Easy, me and Dori (fiance) moved our wedding from Sept 2, 2007 to December 9, 200. So this means I'm looking to jump off that building of single life even faster then anticipated.

Why would we move the wedding up? Because we want more stress in our lives? Just so excited to be married? Nope! As some will guess, and to many the fears of the people on this wonderful planet, I will be a daddy. As scary as it is for people read it, its scary for me to write that. (sorry for any friends I have not been able to tell this to and this being the way you are first finding out.)

Never Trust a Girl Who Says BRB

2006-10-16T14:14:00.000-04:00

Ok I saw this on Phoenix Patouche's Blog. Fit into what I wrote on Wed last week. Computer Geeks National Anthem! LMAO

Here is a Friday Laugh

2006-10-13T10:34:00.000-04:00

So Going To Try Online Dating?

2006-10-11T10:47:00.000-04:00

It is that time of year again. I find that many people who are single are on that mission., to find that someone. Usually it comes right after weddings when people look at people in love and think, "I want to be that way... hmmm who is single here" or worse they go to a wedding and realize, "holy crap I'm at the singles table, these people are scary!"

So in this search, people will take on the blind dates, which almost always ends with you losing your friendship with the person who set you up with the complete ass or loser. You wonder, "what did I ever do to you to deserve that date?" Others will try to go to the bars and use their best pick-up lines in hopes of not being laughed at or finding that one person who has the significant other. "hey do you work for ups? Because I saw you checking out my package."

Then there are the people who will try online dating. Yes, this once taboo form of meeting people has now become something more normal and accepted. I did my senior thesis on the difference in communication with people meeting online vs in a bar. In a bar you usually have an average of 5 seconds to get the persons attention and make an impression. Then your conversation will be scripted, greeting, name, what do you do, number. It is that quick on average, some people will be able to get a longer convo, however if your a guy and you went up to a girl with a group of friends, they blocker for the night will make sure you are pushed away fast. Online dating you have the ability to just click the X out on someone. But can stalk the hell out of them if they give you a SN. LOL

The thing with online communication, people will share almost anything about themselves, which gives you the ability to learn more about the person. However if you meet online, within 1 week you should move to phone. Then work on meeting in person. This is usually in a public place where people know where you will be for the night. From that first date, it is the same as any other person, but you might know more about them.

Now, why move to the phone in a week? After a weeks time you could fall into the "friend zone" or create online communication as your main form.

I say do whatever works for you in finding someone. However as everyone says and its the worst possible saying in the world to someone single, when your not looking, someone will come.

Let's Take a Look at This Week... So far

2006-09-29T07:52:00.000-04:00

1. Monday- Ryan goes to ER for extreme pain. I find out, I have kidney stones.

2. Tuesday- Still in pain, have to finish 3 publications for print for work by end of day then by
end of work, realize I ate something I was allergic to. *I have never been allergic to any food before.

3. Wednesday- Back to only 4 people in entire office, 3 publications that were sent to printer all were corrupted files. Deadline not met. Went to work at gym, no clients yet.

4. Thursday- Wake up in morning to find body covered in hives, face swollen, yep, I ate something I'm allergic to, figured it out. Almonds. Go to gym, find out someone stole my IPOD mini from my gym bag. Did some investigating on a gut feeling I had, found out I was right about one of my friends. This just irked me because I like honesty and can't take when advice is given and not followed by the people who give it.

5. Friday- I CANT GET RASCAL FLATS OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD!

Why Am I Hysterically Laughing?

2006-09-22T09:15:00.000-04:00

Seriously, just keep remembering this woman's reaction to this kid. Why did I fall off my chair?

Celebrity Look-Alike

2006-09-22T08:58:00.000-04:00

Sorry Dan, No Mario Lopez on this one.Go See Dan's Look-Alikes

IM BACK IN THE GAME

2006-09-22T07:42:00.000-04:00

Well I took some time away from blogging for a couple reasons, 1. Writer's block 2. Insanely busy and 3. None of your business LOL.

Well here we are now in September. My football team has now lost 2 games in a row within seconds of winning. Our record is now 2-2, "not to bad, but not good enough, as is life." that's the line I have told my players. After our first loss where we started to come back from behind to only be stopped by little mistakes we did, I took it pretty hard, thinking "was it me, was it my players, or was it just supposed to happen this way?"

Many of us who play, coach or know the game of football will often hear the cliche, football is like life. One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Any Given Sunday:

You find out life's this game of inches. And so is football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean... One half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow too fast, you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this - in any fight, its the guy whose willing to die who's gonna win that inch. And I know if I'm going to have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because that's what living is! The 6 inches in front of your face... Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it, you're gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen. And either we heal, now, as a team, or we will die, as individuals. That's football, guys. That's all it is. Now, what are you going to do? "

So I thought it was kind of appropriate that when I was questioning things in life along with my self evaluation, that, when I turned on the TV, this part in the movie happened to be on. I started to equate my friends, family, organization and all those around me as being part of my team in this game of life. Wondering who will go that extra inch with me and help drag me when I need that extra help. Who is able to look me right in the eyes and tell me the truth, be honest, and come right out with what they feel. Then and only then will I know who is really on my team in life and who is just another person trying to bring me down.

Sometimes decisions in life are not completed by the choices made by others, not the words that catch their hearts, no, sometimes decisions are made by the pure actions they show in their eyes, their body language and their actions when they think no one is watching.