My Letter to Santa
December 19, 2005
Dear Santa,
Listen boss, this your guy Ryan here. Need to ask for a few things for this Christmas and since I haven't asked for anything in oooooo 10 + years, I think it's time you owe me. You know I am by far one of the nicest people on this planet and I will kill anyone who says differently. I would also like clarification on the definition of "naughty".
First I would like for you to get rid of the pyscho-bitch who works in my office. Yes, I know we have a small office, but this is the one person who is standing in my way of enjoying my job. She basically just tries to go behind my back to make complaints that always come back to me. She is a complete moron in every sense, but I will give her credit for being good in sales. This is because she treats every guy like she wants to sleep with them. Of course that changes when they see her and her rat face. So if you could just run her over with your rieghndeer, it would be appreciated, just watch out for grandma.
Next I would like to be out of debt, just like everyone really. This however is my turn to get rich quick. I have seen some informercials that woke me up a few times. So if you could get me on as one of those actors saying that they made all the money, I would be greatly appreciative. That or help push my application to be on Survivor and Big Brother.
Finally, I would like the U.S.A. to make a few changes:
1. English as official language, because I feel like I need a green card to go a few blocks from my house.
2. Close the flood gates for 1 year. No one in and no one out. Just go on a seek and destroy of every illegal alien and shoot them on spot.
3. Allow kids to play tag and dodge ball. I am tired of kids being weak and whining little bitches.
4. Celebrities who try and give political views on either side of the aisle and think people actually should listen to them, should be put into a room and forced to listen to Michael Jackson and watch Polly Shore movies over and over and over again.
5. Any atheist who tries to fight "in god we trust", "under god" and other thing referring to god to piss off the majority, should be sent into a war zone and see how fast they are begging for help from above.
If all that seems a little too much, I will settle for some cash, new car, Giants winning superbowl and my pop warner team I coach winning some games, because the kids really do deserve it.
Your Pal
Ryan
posted by Total Core Fitness Bootcamp @ 12/19/2005 08:26:00 AM,
2 Comments:
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At 11:52 AM,
said...
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you deserve it all baby!!
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At 10:19 PM,
said...
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I love you...marry me. Great post! :)
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The Author
Coach Ryan
Ryan is twenty seven years old and recently married. Him and his wife are expecting their first child in May. One of his current jobs is as a personal trainer. He also volnteers as a youth football head coach, the players are 8-11 yrs old.
About This Blog
This blog is the thoughts and ramblings of what goes on in my head. Sometimes it could be modivational and other times it could be complete insanity. Thats the beauty of it all.
Additional Information
I will eventually add more information in here. If you want to get to know me more, follow some of the links. I reccomend reading all the blogs I have linked here.
