Your Worst Kiss?!
February 24, 2006
First off, sorry for the delay in updating, had my bday weekend and then got lazy, what can I say? However, through some general conversations on AIM and MySpace messages, I thought I would ask people, what is your worst kiss you have ever had?
I started to laugh because I can think of some which were TERRIBLE! I am however like a Sienfeld Episode, always categorizing people. I definitely categories the types of kissers.
The Snake- the person who doesn't open their mouth or very little and just stick their tongue out and in every few seconds
The Dead Snake- similar to above, however they seem to sick their tongue out, but do not move it at all! It just lays there... And you think... What am I supposed to do?
The Driller- This person gets involved, however feels it is their job to clean out your mouth and throat while kissing. They shove their tongue all the way in and move it around. They just dive right in and don't let you do much because you are fighting to breathe.
Face Swallower- You know usually when you kiss, you have the lips on lips? This person likes to include the whole face and nose in 1 mouth opening. Seriously thinking you have to match them and know you cannot open your mouth as wide. For a guy its reassuring to know she can get her mouth that wide (::SLAP:: I did it for you ladies). However this leads to drool. Which like at a dentist when they don't do enough suction can suck when it goes down your chin and onto your shirt.
The Pecker - They never completely go for a full kiss.... They will just peck you to death. They peck your lips, neck and ears, but I swear they do not have a tongue or know how to lock lips for more then 1 second.
So I know some of you have had bad kisses or types of kissers. What do you all have?
posted by Total Core Fitness Bootcamp @ 2/24/2006 09:36:00 AM,
10 Comments:
-
At 3:34 PM,
TaraMetBlog said...
-
I'd describe my worst kiss as - The Jellyfish- he did this weird sucking thing it literally felt like someone covered my mouth with a cold wet jelly fish and was sucking the life out of me. It was terrible, I'm cringing remembering it. It was so weird and different that it wasn't even like a kiss at all.
-
At 5:29 PM,
Dan C said...
-
One of my ex gf's was fascinated with my lower lip... it was like that was the only part of my mouth she was interested in. I couldn't stick my tongue out, cause it would go in her nose. So I just laid there while she made out with the bottom part of my mouth. It was weird.
However, to keep myself out of trouble, I must say that Lindsey is quite good at kissing.
There, covered my ass ;-) -
At 8:10 PM,
said...
-
I think mine was slightly face swallower mixed with a guy who didn't know that you aren't supposed to actually lick a girl's face while kissing her.
i want to vomit everytime i hear his name.... eww! -
At 10:33 AM,
Taylor Ham Pork Roll said...
-
The Driller, the Snake? I love your descriptions so I had to comment.
My parents adored him. I couldn't stand him --The worst kisser I've known was a guy named Mario who also thought licking someone's entire head was erotic in some way. Like an annoying puppy needing a swift smack on the snoot. I unceremoniously wiped my face and neck off with his shirt sleeve and said "Uggghh, no more."
He never called again. Was it something I said? -
At 6:32 PM,
said...
-
Well, first off, happy belated birthday :)
My worst kiss? The Drooler, when he couldn't control his saliva at all. Ugh. -
At 6:42 PM,
Total Core Fitness Bootcamp said...
-
I am lovin the other catagories. Some I will admit I have called before and experienced.
Dan... Your ex, that the one I know HAHAHA, Dont worry lindsey wont mind if you said she was bad at times... she has told me all about you jk jk -
At 11:19 PM,
Unknown said...
-
First, Ryan I never know what you mean... can you please explain.
Second, don't I have the best boyfreind in the world to say what a great kisser I am. However, I have heard how good I am before.
Third, the worst kisser I ever had was never my boyfriend, but just a guy I dated briefly in college. I would catergorized him as the Face Swallower! Needless to say that ended soon!
Fourth, Dan is a great kisser as well, I just wish we got to do it more!!!! -
At 11:50 AM,
GP said...
-
I've definitely had some Face Swallowers in my day *shudder*
-
At 7:36 PM,
said...
-
Ok everyone, My ex used to move his tongue around like a tornado round and round so vigorously that I'd almost gag, and to make things worse, he had nasty cigarette breath. ewww Oh Ryan you haven't you ever had a great kiss? You didn't put that persons classification. The one where she kisses you ever so sweet and sensual, just enought tounge and passion. MMMMMMMMMMM
-
At 8:37 PM,
said...
-
This is so funny cause the worst kisser I had was actually recently and it's ashame cause he was really good looking but all he did was move his tongue from side to side then on top of that all he wanted to do was nipple on my bottom lip I'm like ok one or two times that's cute but I am kinda getting scared of u for real biting me that much lol.
So I would call him the biter lol Also experienced the face swallower.
The Author
Coach Ryan
Ryan is twenty seven years old and recently married. Him and his wife are expecting their first child in May. One of his current jobs is as a personal trainer. He also volnteers as a youth football head coach, the players are 8-11 yrs old.
About This Blog
This blog is the thoughts and ramblings of what goes on in my head. Sometimes it could be modivational and other times it could be complete insanity. Thats the beauty of it all.
Additional Information
I will eventually add more information in here. If you want to get to know me more, follow some of the links. I reccomend reading all the blogs I have linked here.
