My Christmas Story
December 22, 2005
'Twas The Night Before Christmas and sitting by the window on the phone I was talking to a friend about Last Christmas. I remember, that's when Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Daddy wasn't happy, so he walked into judge judy's court with a Parade of The Wooden Soldiers.
I look outside and it's Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey who is looking at me with a Mexican on his back who shouts Donde Esta Santa Claus and after a short pause yells Feliz Navidad. Then Frosty the Snowman is seen running screaming "Snow You're All I Want For Christmas" as he slowly melts all that can heard now is Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow.
Then a Little Drummer Boy is heard in the neighborhood and the cops are called. But explains Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Then a red light is seen. It is Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer. Who is drinking from the puddle created by the melted frosty. Then the redneck in the neighborhood with his shotgun in hand says "I sees me some good jerky" and running to my door and I yell "Run Rudolph Run!"
I hear a noise and ask Do You Hear What I Hear its Jingle Bells and The Man With All The Toys is standing there and hang up the phone. Noticing no bag in hand I asked "I'm getting Nuttin' for Christmas, am I?" he replies "HELL NO, you saved that whining red nosed rat!" I respond "Gee Whiz, It's Christmas The Most Wonderful Time of The Year It's Christmas Everywhere in Harlem Do They Know It's Christmas?" With that, he sits down, pulls out a flask and asks me, "If It Doesn't Snow on Christmas and I get one Silent Night without having to hear The Twelve Days of Christmas and The Chipmunk Song over and over again. I have 30 lawsuits from the ACLU for saying Merry Christmas All and not Happy Holidays." With that he wiggled his nose and went away. Going outside I notice I'm really in a Marshmallow World.
Waking up from this nightmare, I run to the window and see a Winter Wonderland. It's a White Christmas! Back on my bed there is a note and it reads, "Remember Santa Claus Is Watching You and you could blind if you keep doing what you doing when watching The Bells of St. Mary. Happy Christmas Santa".
posted by Total Core Fitness Bootcamp @ 12/22/2005 07:33:00 AM,
1 Comments:
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At 12:50 PM,
TaraMetBlog said...
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Very cute and I have most of those songs on my iPod now.
The Author
Coach Ryan
Ryan is twenty seven years old and recently married. Him and his wife are expecting their first child in May. One of his current jobs is as a personal trainer. He also volnteers as a youth football head coach, the players are 8-11 yrs old.
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