My Quarterlife Crisis... Make It Stop!
January 24, 2006
Imagine this: you are in your mid-20s, graduated college and still trying to figure out the world. You have a job and what most may look as a pretty decent life. However in your mind, you are in a prison and are constantly being whipped by your fears, your internal enemies and you cannot do anything about it.
This is what my days and nights have been like for the past couple days. I have joked before about going through a Quarter Life Crisis, this time is no joke.
I was just going through a normal day and it was suprisingly well. Then all the sudden I found myself getting really pissed off. I was starting to go through situations and conversations in my head with people close to me and I was reacting to them. ( I would explain these, but now know people close to my family and actual family members read my blog).
Then I started to realize little things that people have said to me and I have said to myself, these things grew to be big deals, to the point I had to stop what I was doing and walk away. Then from that point on, everything is like a vice grip on my brain, squeezing my anxiety out and pushing my stress meter to explode. I has gotten so bad that at random times I just break down, sitting there feeling like I cannot get away from the thoughts and my anger at myself and others.
Like right now, I feel a sense of tension, because I have to watch what I write. I do not like being controlled or feeling like I have no control of my life or situations. Why should I feel like I have to walk on egg shells because some people are too fucking nosy to have to feel they need to read my blog. This was my release and now I will have to try and find another one or until I figure their IPs so that I can block them.
However some may be still confused about what I could be haunted by and what I could be thinking about. Simply I am not happy with where I am in life, I am not where I thought I would be, where I know I could be, I look to the future and know how things happening now will only continue to hurt me into the future. I feel like I made one to many mistakes along the way and now I even question my abilities.
posted by Total Core Fitness Bootcamp @ 1/24/2006 09:31:00 AM,
1 Comments:
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At 3:14 PM,
said...
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Nice picture, you have beautiful eyes.
I don't really know what to say about your quarter-life crisis. But I know you're not the only one that's going through this. I once knew a guy who started freaking out when he turned 26 because he knew he was that much closer to being 30. He didn't say it right out but I think he was annoyed with himself that he still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life.
What is stopping you though from being what you feel like you should be?
As for people you know finding out about your blog, I can relate to that. I felt so uncomfortable, having to censor what I wrote, eventually I just bought another domain. I know eventually I'll probably be found out again but for now it's okay.
The Author
Coach Ryan
Ryan is twenty seven years old and recently married. Him and his wife are expecting their first child in May. One of his current jobs is as a personal trainer. He also volnteers as a youth football head coach, the players are 8-11 yrs old.
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This blog is the thoughts and ramblings of what goes on in my head. Sometimes it could be modivational and other times it could be complete insanity. Thats the beauty of it all.
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