The Gym: An Abyss of Human Comedy
January 20, 2006
Well some people seem to really enjoy the gym stories (Lindsey and wanting to know about the vest guy everyday).
Face it, you are going to run into all types of people no matter where you go. However, I feel that at the gym is where you will find some of the broadest specimens of humans on this planet. There are all types of people, beyond the smelly ones, old naked guys and needle shooters.
The sweat rag: It is amazing how many times you go to the gym, see the same people and some people just look the same. They could be there for years, working hard and not look like they lose a pound, however they are drenched in sweat. Seriously are dripping sweat from even their sneakers. I think they could walk around and all you would here is ::squish:: ::squish:: like the sounds of just getting in from the rain and walking into a food store, where you do whatever you can for 5 min to stop that damn sound. There was once a guy there who would carry about his own beach towel. Never knew why, because I was always leaving when he came in. I stayed late one day and all I can say was, you would have thought he jumped in the pool and jumped out.
Wanna Be Personal Trainer: Now, I will admit, before I got my certification, I would help people on form and give tips. This came from my background at GNC and lifting since HS, you learn certain things. However, I am talking about the guy who comes to you and starts trying to give you tips and so forth. You try to be nice and say thanks and go about your business, but he is persistent and wants to help you. But you go into your memory bank of people you never want to spot you in fear that you lift something heavy and might not be able to finish a set and this is the guy who was on the list. HE WAS #1. This guy can't do 1 pushup, never does anything right and is now telling you what to do. Fastest way to get rid of them is ask "o so your certified?" they say no. If you are or not just say, "o because my certification says I'm right."
The Bitch: O yes, the women at the gym are not off limits. I am impressed if a woman will come into the free weight area since many look at that as the "land of the apes". But no, I am talking about the women who, like some men, think since they came in the room or near that equipment, that everything needs to stop and go their way. Imagine a guy doing some heavy weight. Been in the same spot for 5 min, has 1 set to go. Gets up to get a drink and returns only to find someone throwing his stuff to the side and someone jumping on. O yes people, this happens. People told her that someone was there and using the equipment. Her answer "well he is not here right now, so I am taking it", WRONG ANSWER! This was taken care of really fast. Saw where she put her purse, went and picked it up. Said "well your not here using it, so its mine now." She gets up, guy jumps back on equipment. PRICELESS. However, I witnessed another Diva. On the elliptical and watching ESPN, someone else was watching Judge Joe Brown and another TV was like Martha Living or something. Well this woman comes over with a staff member and is like, "change this TV to channel 7 so I can watch Oprah." Staff member asks people if they are watching the TV, Judge Joe Brown woman says she is watching it and then as they are going to change the TV I was looking at, I go "watching it, don't even think about it" and she had a fit. I did cardio a lil longer that day.
P.S. Vest Guy was not in the gym yesterday, but there was sighting on Wed when I did not go in. People are trying to obtain pictures of this mysterious human
posted by Total Core Fitness Bootcamp @ 1/20/2006 09:35:00 AM,
3 Comments:
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At 8:02 AM,
said...
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wow, hey thanks for the link. I'll link you up too.
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At 9:13 AM,
Unknown said...
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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At 9:16 AM,
Unknown said...
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LOL, loved your gym stories. I got one of my own... there is this skinny Chinese lady that comes in every day and she is so skinny I wonder why she ever does cardio at all. I mean she must weigh 90 lbs. But she brings this weird drink in, it looks like water, but it has this cloudy look like it could almost be watered-down milk. But get this, when she drinks it she gets a milk mustasche, and most of the time she doesn't wipe it off. So she is on the eliptical and she has this mustashe. It is so funny!!! See I have weird people at my gym too. On with the Vest Guy stories, I have to be entertained somehow!
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Coach Ryan
Ryan is twenty seven years old and recently married. Him and his wife are expecting their first child in May. One of his current jobs is as a personal trainer. He also volnteers as a youth football head coach, the players are 8-11 yrs old.
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